Editing a Manuscript -- and a Body

Today I am blogging at Inkspot, the Midnight Ink author blog, about editing a manuscript--and my body, and the parallels between the two efforts. I hope you will share your advice for both efforts with me in the comments there!

The Telling Detail

It's my turn to blog at Inkspot today, the blog for Midnight Ink authors. I talk about the telling detail and how authors work to craft those tiny descriptions that distill the essense and emotion of the item being described into a thing of beauty. Please read the post, and if you have a favorite example of the use of "telling detail," would you share it with the rest of us in a comment? Thanks!

Editing a Galley Proof

Last weekend I posted photos from my vacation in Mazatlan, Mexico, and I said that while I was there I also did some writing work: editing the galley proof for my upcoming May release, Wicked Eddies, which will be the second book in the RM Outdoor Adventures mystery series starring whitewater river ranger Mandy Tanner.

What is a galley proof? It is the final layout document of a book, with everything positioned exactly on each page, that will be sent to the printer. The proof is sent to the author before it goes to the printer, so the author has one last chance to scour the book for errors and eliminate them. So, I went to work pouring over every page and scrubbing them clean. By the time I finished, I had created a six-page file of about 140 change requests.

What kinds of change requests? Most were small one word or one punctuation mark changes. For instance, in dialogue, I leave contractions with "had" and "would" as contractions, but in narrative, I prefer to spell them out, especially when it's a little unclear whether "she'd" means "she had" or "she would." I found some of those contractions in narrative and changed them. Also, in dialogue, I allow characters to leave out the "of" in phrases such as "all the boats", because we all do that naturally. However, in narrative, I want the "of" to be there, so it would read "all of the boats."

There were such changes as a comma that should have been a period or vice versa, a word that should have been plural and was missing an "s", changing "extra" to "additional" because there were already two other "extra" words in the paragraph, and so on. And, on re-reading, I decided that some of my sentences were too long, and I split them up into two.

One of the larger changes included writing a Dedication, which had been left blank in the galley proof. Another was making sure that real-life organizations were listed by their correct name, such as "Pueblo County Coroner’s Office" versus "Pueblo coroner’s office." And I had mistakenly called the "Chaffee County Sheriff's Office" a department instead of an office a few times.

A couple of times, I rewrote sentences, mainly to put the phrases in cause-effect order or time-sequence order. However, I was very careful to make sure that any rewrites wouldn't change the pagination of the galley proof, that they were about the same length as the original text. Inserting or removing a paragraph is a big no-no at this stage, because that could have a trickle-down effect that would cause multiple pages to be completely re-done.

Lastly, during the same vacation, I was reviewing an ARC of Dr. D.P. Lyle's upcoming release, More Forensics and Fiction, Crime Writers' Morbidly Curious Questions Expertly Answered. In that book, he explains that water in the lungs is not definitive evidence of drowning in and of itself if a victim's body is left submerged more than twelve hours. This is because the lungs passively fill with water as the air seeps out. Instead, debris or organisms from the body of water in which the victim is found must also be found in the victim's lungs to say death was caused by drowning. So, I made a small change in dialogue about my drowning victim's autopsy to address this. Thank you, D.P. Lyle!

Even though my editor and I have both done a thorough review of the galley proof, I'm sure some small errors or typos will remain, much like the river debris in my victim's lungs, to show that yes, we are human and we make mistakes. I sure tried my best, though, to make Wicked Eddies as perfect as I possibly could. Now, the matter is out of my hands. It will be up to the readers to let me know how well I did!

Final Proof of A REAL BASKET CASE

Last week I finished reviewing the final proof for the paperback/ebook re-release of the first book in my Claire Hanover gift basket designer mystery series, A Real Basket Case. This new release is being published by Midnight Ink and will be out in November.

You'd think that with two editions already published, the hardcover and large-print, that no changes would need to be made. How wrong you'd be! Here's where I marked changes.

First, the author blurbs. It's been almost five years since I originally requested them. The hardcover edition was released in spring, 2007, and I obtained the blurbs in late 2006. Those authors have gone on to publish more books and some have attained or re-attained New York Time bestseller status. So, I changed the blurb attributions to reflect their recent accomplishments.

Second, there's the copyright or "verso" page--you know, the one with all the small print gobbledygook. I had to correct the reference to the press that produced the hardcover version and check that the proper book designer, cover artist, etc. were listed.

Third, the dedication page. Previous editions didn't have one, and Midnight Ink gave me the option to include one. I decided to take them up on their offer and wrote a dedication. To whom, you might ask? It's a secret! ;-)

Fourth, the acknowledgements page. I rewrote most of this, primarily to list and thank those hard-working folks who toiled on this new edition. I also shortened and summarized my thanks to those who helped with the hardcover edition, because, well, they're thanked profusely there.

Fifth, the text itself. My new copy editor at Midnight Ink found a few things that she thought should be changed, and I agreed with the changes. Then I found a few more on my read through the whole book (which, by the way, was a pleasurable exercise, since I hadn't lived through Claire Hanover's first adventure in five years). Lastly, I found a formatting error that had been introduced in the new version. Yes, these were all small changes, but ones that I think will improve the product.

So, my feedback to the editor has been sent, and that was my last chance to make changes. Let the printing begin! And I'm on to my next writing task ...

Working on a Climax

I've been editing the climax of my WiP (work-in-progress), which is the third book in my Claire Hanover gift basket designer mystery series, tentatively titled Basketful of Troubles. I handed it out to my critique group and received their feedback at our last meeting.

I was concerned prior to the meeting because the scene included a lot of people, a lot of action, gunshots, a bucking horse, terrible danger, high emotions, people afraid to act or acting inappropriately, and more. And I'd already rewritten the climax a couple of times, to raise the stakes and the accompanying emotion.

I had a right to be concerned.

My critique partners liked the basic elements of my climax scene, but they pointed out many areas that needed to be fixed. These included:

1) A man was sucker punched by someone, but once he got the other party under control, he was content to hold him pinned down and not get a revenge lick in.
2) A woman ran inside a building to call the cops early in the scene, but readers forgot about her by the time the fighting began and kept asking, "Why isn't anyone calling the cops?"
3) Someone was hurt, badly hurt, and I didn't show his pain on screen.
4) I didn't keep the focus of the scene on the bad guy at all times so the reader knew what he was doing.
5) I made the characters' dialogue too long. They would speak more in fragments.
6) I got so wrapped up in describing the action that I called a character the wrong name--more than once.

And 7) There was a logic hole so big you could drive a truck through it. Aaargh! It took me quite a while to come up with a solution for that.

By now, I bet you're wondering how I could possibly be a published author.

I've been busy making fixes the last few days. I'm happy to report that the scene reads better, much better, thanks to the astute eyes of my critique group. What would I do without them?

A Breakthrough on a Final Climax

I had a breakthrough on my Work-in-Progress the day before yesterday. My Work-in-Progress is the third book in my Claire Hanover gift basket designer mystery series. The manuscript has been drafted, and I've been submitting chapters to my critique group, performing edits before and after each submittal.

I am due to submit the chapter containing the final climax tonight. I had been dissatisfied with it, however, and knew it needed fixing. The stakes needed to be raised, and I needed to "make things worse" for my heroine. I had to give her a bigger test that she could pass and prove that she is worthy of the title "heroine."

As the time approached for that climax scene to be shared with my critique group, ideas on how to fix it stewed in my brain. First came the idea on how to spin the situation more out of control and put a life in danger. Then I had to figure out how Claire was going to save the day!

That idea came a couple of days before the rewrite. Finally, I had a free day with no appointments, and I sat down to edit that scene, vowing to stay off the Internet until it was done. Eight hours and eight new pages of text (plus many rewritten pages) later, I was done.

The scene now has a lot more tension and conflict. I'm pretty pleased with the result. I hope my critique group will be, too!